I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
