You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
