Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
