If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
