My room smells like vodka and shame
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
