i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He shit in the fireplace
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
