I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
