do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
