We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
