I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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