You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
