hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
