You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
