i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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