Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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