I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
