Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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