I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
babies were throwing up all over the place
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
