Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
