sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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