The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
