I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize