The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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