I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
