I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
