Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
