Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
