Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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