btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
