I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
