thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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