you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think people are normalizing furries
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
