I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
