I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize