Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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