I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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