Whod you bang
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
