Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
