Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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