take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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