I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
