I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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