Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize