Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
