At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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