you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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