I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
