So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
