i love accidental penises.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
