Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
