Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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