Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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