I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my being single is dangerous.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize