Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
