Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
