hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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