I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
