just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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