Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So many bounce houses so little time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
