His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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