Don't make out with my wife yet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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